Gentle. But tough.

At 60, I find that aging forces me be more gentle with my body. Just this Tuesday, I wrenched my back hoisting bags of compost and moving rocks in a landscape bed. Not long ago, that level of exertion would not have caused any issue at all. But now I must pay attention to body mechanics and the signals my muscles and joints provide as I lift, twist or bend.

I am also acutely aware of my need for restraint when it comes to food. I love to eat, but now I am much more likely to experience discomfort if I overeat or consume too much fatty or spicy food. I have to be gentle with myself and my system.

Being gentle does not come easy for those of us who have a long-standing habit of soldiering through discomfort and ignoring our own feelings and needs, but it is a rewarding discipline. Being gentle with ourselves gives us more tolerance for others and increases our ability to be gentle with them.

While gentleness is a gift of aging, it must be accompanied with toughness. At the same time I am being tender and forgiving toward my body, I must be rigorous to uphold guidelines and routines to keep my body fit at this time of natural decline.

Gravity pulls everything downward, so we must look up for strength to moderate against its inevitable effect. The idea is not to live forever on the planet, but to live here with optimal freedom to move and make a difference.

Since my body is a temple, I do well to remember that an aging building requires more maintenance than a younger edifice. The older architecture has its own beauty, but requires greater care and attention.

Certainly we don’t have to wait until 60 to learn this lesson. Some of us had parents who modeled this type of love when we were toddlers and teens. They were gentle, but tough. They were attentive to our needs without being overly gratifying. They were generous without being indulgent.

We all need to be loved in a way that is tender, but tough. God is the perfect example of the blend we humans struggle to achieve. Most of us tend toward one side or the other in relating to ourselves and those we love. Either we are too soft and let ourselves off the hook, or we are too hard, too rigorous in our demands for discipline and perfection.

God, make us like you. Fill us with your warm loving kindness that remembers we are dust and relates to us with tender care. Give us too the strength of determination that will not yield in the face of our resistance to doing good.

Every day, may we exercise compassion when faced with our limitations, but courage to take new ground. Help us advance on this journey of life, not stopping to dwell in complacency or resignation. Make us gentle, but tough!