Tag Archives: accountability

Love and peas!

Posted on by under Psychology, Spiritual growth, Uncategorized

veggiesfirst1

Eat your vegetables first!

Children need structure and encouragement to do unpleasant things so they can enjoy something better. “After you make your bed, you can go out and play.”

However, some of us were not disciplined well. We grew up in homes that were chaotic and unstructured, or our parents were rigid and heavy-handed so we tend to buck authority. Either way, we struggle as adults. We buy things, intending to pay for them later. We put off unpleasant tasks and avoid difficult conversations. We want dessert, without having to eat our veggies.

As it turns out, successful people and those who are unsuccessful dislike the same things. But if those things are important, successful people do them anyway. They give themselves rewards for accomplishment and consequences for procrastination. They do what it takes to achieve their goals and remove any obstacles that stand in the way.

Self-esteem grows with self-discipline. We feel better about ourselves when we make commitments and keep them. And the better we feel about ourselves, the more disciplined we are in the choices we make and the more empowered we are to follow-through. And in some cases, we begin to enjoy the process. We develop a taste for broccoli!

Discipline in childhood thrives in a loving and trusting relationship with a parent. But if you missed out, don’t despair! You have a loving heavenly Father who will discipline you as His beloved child. He promises great rewards when we trust and obey.

With His help, every day presents a fresh start. If we have gotten derailed in our progress, we can get back on track by asking the question, “What is the next right thing?”

And if we struggle with self-discipline, we can invite a friend, a sponsor or accountability partner to check on our progress. All of us have battles that can only be won when we invite someone into the trenches with us. We just have to set aside pride and ask for help.

So declare your intention! Let God know what you want and structure your day so you get the unpleasant task out of the way first. Discipline is not fun, but when we have done the work, we have time for play!

Eat your vegetables first!

 

 

Nice to be Weak

Posted on by under Uncategorized

We all experience a gap between what we wish to be and what we are. Every day we fall short of the ideal. And while we tend to focus on mistakes we make or sins we commit, the biggest gap in our experience is not in our doing wrong, but in our failure to do right.

Jesus is not concerned with preventing sin as much as He is in promoting righteousness. Consider the parable of the talents. His displeasure was clear with one who declined to use what he had because he was afraid to make a mistake.

Sometimes, when we wish to justify our lack of action, we function like a man in prison who reaches out to touch the bars, because they remind him of his limitations. Whenever he feels grief about how little he can do for himself or others, touching the bars help him cope with his sense of failure. The bars remind him he is powerless to do anything in this moment. “Perhaps,” he tells himself “some day I will be able to make everything right…”

“Touching our bars” (focusing on our limitations) reassures us that we are okay to remain just as we are. We don’t have to feel so badly about not being there for others if we have no possibility of being there for them. Reminding ourselves we are in prison is our comfort.

We cannot be expected to make a difference if we have no time to spare, no resources, and no opportunities. If we tell ourselves the task is too big, no one will support us, we don’t know enough or we are not talented enough, then we do not have to feel so badly about the suffering around us and our lack of action.

We get good at exempting ourselves from feeling grief that children perish daily for lack of food and that millions face eternity without God. We let ourselves off the hook and focus on our limitations because it makes us feel better. We reach out only as far as the bars allow.

But what if our limitations are there partly because we need them? What if we would rather see ourselves as inadequate and weak so we can let ourselves off the hook, rather than risk trusting God and stepping out in faith?

One day, we will all give an account.

On that day, Jesus will separate us. He will honor those who live with eyes open to problems and possibilities, and He will renounce those of us who keep ourselves comfortably unaware of our power to reach the hurting souls nearby.

“When did we see you…?” is the question we will ask.

And the King will say, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:31-46)

What is limiting you? What keeps you from doing the good you know to do? Are you finding comfort in your limitations? Is your helplessness reassuring?

God cares about our sins of the flesh, but cowardice and unbelief are damnable as well.

To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. – Revelation 21:6-8