Many of us try to deal with our disappointments by blaming others and excusing ourselves. Others of us are more likely to blame ourselves and excuse every one else. But while focusing on our own actions may be healthier than focusing on others, looking at ourselves or someone else to make sense of things or to feel okay misses the mark. We are looking at the wrong person.

The person we look to is Jesus. He is the one willing to shoulder the responsibility and to pay the penalty. He is willing to bear the blame, shame and condemnation. Yes, and He has done it already. He is the only one who can keep us from pride or despair, bitterness or idolatry. He is the one who can bring meaning and purpose to any situation.

As a matter of fact, when God thinks of me, He looks to Jesus, and when I think of God, I can look to Jesus, too. He is the image of God for me and He represents me before our Father.

Jesus is the only one. He is the answer to every question, and the remedy for every ailment. He is the solution for every problem and the constant in every equation.

Jesus is before all things and in Him all things hold together. He is the first and the last, the beginning and the end. He is alpha and omega and all the letters in between. He is the first word and the last word. Nothing exists that did not come through Him and at the end all things will be brought together in Him.

There is nothing significant beside Him. When He is makes His entrance, all else pales. Beauty covers its face and ugliness is transformed. Darkness flees and beside Him light is a shadow.

His breath is like a tornado and His touch as gentle a whisper. Once, for a moment, God turned His back on Jesus, but now He can see no one else. Jesus’ countenance is so compelling that in Heaven all eyes are on Him.

One day all eyes will behold Him, but you can look to Him today!

“Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame.”     – Psalm 34:5

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”             – Matthew 7:1,2

When we condemn others, Jesus assures us we are condemning ourselves. And no matter how much worse that guy’s sin may look than our own, placing him under the law puts us right there with him. To stand in judgment, we enter the courtroom and find ourselves subject to the gavel. We are all imperfect and fallen; we are all guilty. Any appeal to the law exposes us to judgment.

God’s perspective is radically different than ours, so we see in the judgment of “the sheep and goats” (Matthew 25). It is what the goats failed to do that Jesus brings to the fore.“‘I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’’  When the goats express their shock and dismay, Jesus makes it plain – ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Then they are sent away to eternal loss.

While we may never have abused a child or murdered someone, it is clear that we all do harm by what we do and by what we fail to do. All of us have the capacity to share a meal or reach out to someone hurting. We may even have the means to help stop abuse or limit exploitation of the poor. It may be worse to be a perpetrator of evil, but God holds us responsible to do good, not just play nice.

It is right to be horrified by the sin around us, but not so much that we lose focus on our own deep need for redemption. As we daily invite God into every crevice of heart and soul, He shines His light. And what He reveals promotes humility and annihilates judgment. It opens to see that we are all alike.

He loves us fully as we are and asks us to bear witness to that love in all we do. Don’t fail to see the evil in yourself, nor to recognize Jesus in the broken and needy nearby.

Never bite on judgment. Goats will eat almost anything, but you don’t want to be a goat. Nope!

We all need love. God is love and as we are made in His image, we are made for love.

From our first breath, we need the warm embrace of love. And for many of us, it was a mother who gave us that first taste of God’s love and faithfulness. In her glowing countenance, her soft and warm embrace, in countless nursings and gentle words and caresses, we connected with Love. When a mother cuddles and coos, brushes away tears and wipes a little bottom, she makes the world a safe place to live and to grow.

Mothers are our first experience of the soft side of God. And if we miss out, we are hampered in connecting with other humans and may find it nearly impossible to connect with God. While scripture assures us that He is “Father to the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5), it never asserts that He is Mother to the motherless. It may be that the divine love of God cannot penetrate a heart that has not first been opened to human affection.

Like John the Baptist preparing the way for Christ, mothers provide a gateway to God. While they are not our only shot at connecting with lovingkindness, they are almost always our first opportunity and in their successes and failures can encourage our belief and bonding with the Almighty.

Those of us who had warm, attentive and attuned mothers can celebrate today what God did for us through them and thank our moms who are yet living for being the vessel of His grace. Those of us who missed out on a satisfying link with mom, can celebrate those who through God’s grace, showed us through warm interactions, His maternal affection and unconditional love.

All of us can serve as mother when we reach out to one of God’s hurting little ones. When we see someone hungry or hurting, lost or alone, we can share that love that God pours into our hearts as He does for mothers toward their young.

So let today be an exultation of connection with other humans who have loved us as mothers, and for the unexplainable and weighty gift of giving others a taste of God.

“Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”              Mark 3:35

“This is what the Lord says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. Nothing, not even a mighty mountain, will stand in Zerubbabel’s way; it will become a level plain before him! And when Zerubbabel sets the final stone of the Temple in place, the people will shout: ‘May God bless it! May God bless it!’” Zechariah 4:6-7 NLT

     Like Zerubbabel, a few of us may get to help rebuild something tangible and beautiful, like God’s temple in Jerusalem. Most of us, however, are occupied with the seemingly mundane task of rebuilding our lives.
As God revealed to Zerubabbel, the work of restoration is not by force or strength, but by His Spirit. Willpower alone won’t work. Instead, we ask Him to fill us fresh and we pay attention to His Spirit’s gentle urgings. This is His work and we are His servants.
Amazingly enough, God’s interest today is not rebuilding a temple in Jerusalem. His interest is in building you and I – the temple of His Holy Spirit! And we will only be enthusiastic about the venture if we really believe that He has chosen us to be His beautiful home.
Every day, our attitudes, thoughts and behaviors can build up and beautify God’s home in our hearts. And how we treat our body is how we treat His temple!
Let’s ask Him to help us see the glory of His work in us. May we see the beauty in our persistence, our generosity and our patience with the process. For if it happened overnight, we would miss the growth in character – the crowning achievement of God’s work in us.
Zerubbabel’s temple was destroyed, but your temple will last forever!
And let us not lose heart, because God is committed to laying the last stone and He will bless it!

Thanks to MK Khoza for writing the basis of this post. God bless you all today!

Matthew Paul was my favorite childhood friend. In elementary and junior high, he was my best friend and we reconnected in college to continue our tremendous friendship. He was smart, musical and athletic. And I always felt better about myself when I was with him.

I’ll never forget what it was like to go to Matt’s house as a kid. His dad was an anesthesiologist and they had a beautiful home with a pool. It was heavenly. Whenever I walked in their front door with Matt after school, I knew I would get to enjoy whatever snack or treat his mom had prepared. And if I spent the night on a Friday, she would make blueberry pancakes for Saturday morning breakfast. Yum!

Once, Matt’s family took me on vacation with them to Carlsbad Caverns. It was an amazing trip and I felt like one of the family. Everything Matt got, I got. Food, hotel, souvenirs – everything was provided for me. I wasn’t a son, but Jess and Dorothy Paul treated me like one. Because I was a friend of their son, they loved me and I loved them.

Some day, I will walk through the front door of heaven. And if I walk through that door as a friend of Jesus, God will welcome me as His son. Even now, God looks at me with the love He has for Jesus. Because Jesus took what I deserved, I can receive all that He has earned. Whatever Jesus gets, I get.

I’m with Him!!

On any given issue, we all have our view. And it it’s a good thing. We all need to be clear about what we see, how we feel, and where we stand. The problem comes when we cannot set aside our own view long enough to take a look through another lens. Especially when we surround ourselves with those who share or defer to our opinions, our view can become two-dimensional and flat.

In relationships, we must resist the urge to override another’s view with our own. None of us sees perfectly. It is as though we each view the world through different colored or polarized lenses.

I recently enjoyed the Star Wars movie in 3D. As you may know, the polarized glasses provided have one lens which polarizes light vertically and the other horizontally, providing two different images, which my brain integrated to provide a thrilling three-dimensional experience. It was my birthday present to myself.

Having the two differing lenses side by side for my left and right eyes gave me that 3D vision. But if had overlaid the two lenses, one on top of the other, I would have seen nothing. Two polarized lenses cancel each other out when superimposed.

In life, and in relationships, it is okay for our views to be polarized, and a healthy polarized conversation can provide us a more dimensional view of a subject. But this is only true if we attempt to view the thing through both lenses, side by side, one at a time, without placing one over the other.

Even the old green and red 3D glasses cancelled out all the light when you superimposed the two colors. This is what happens when we try to put our view over the view of another. We promote darkness rather than light.

Because we see through different lenses, we will never see exactly what others see. But by careful listening and by giving and receiving accurate feedback, can we approach clarity of understanding. Even then, we may need God’s help integrate what we see with another view.

It takes humility and patience, and a willingness and desire to see beyond our own bias. But with help and persistence, we can do it. As noted, our brains are designed to take two divergent images and bring them together into one.

Sadly, the only option for many of us is setting aside our own view to endorse that of another, or setting aside their view to affirm our own. For many years, that was me. I didn’t know how to affirm my own view and another’s at the same time.

In my marriage, for instance, I would insist that Teri move over and see the scene from my point of view. As you can imagine, this was not helpful, and even when I was “successful”, the result was disappointing. Hearing, “Fine. You’re right. We’ll do it your way”, was a hollow victory. The result of a unilateral decisions is flat indeed.

We need 3D vision through good 3D conversations.

God, give us the ability to connect with others in such a way that we can join our visions and come up with a clearer, broader and more dimensional view. Bring harmony in our relationships as we submit to you and set aside our need to be right. Bring sight to our eyes and light in our darkness. For our sake and yours. Amen.

Gentle. But tough.

At 60, I find that aging forces me be more gentle with my body. Just this Tuesday, I wrenched my back hoisting bags of compost and moving rocks in a landscape bed. Not long ago, that level of exertion would not have caused any issue at all. But now I must pay attention to body mechanics and the signals my muscles and joints provide as I lift, twist or bend.

I am also acutely aware of my need for restraint when it comes to food. I love to eat, but now I am much more likely to experience discomfort if I overeat or consume too much fatty or spicy food. I have to be gentle with myself and my system.

Being gentle does not come easy for those of us who have a long-standing habit of soldiering through discomfort and ignoring our own feelings and needs, but it is a rewarding discipline. Being gentle with ourselves gives us more tolerance for others and increases our ability to be gentle with them.

While gentleness is a gift of aging, it must be accompanied with toughness. At the same time I am being tender and forgiving toward my body, I must be rigorous to uphold guidelines and routines to keep my body fit at this time of natural decline.

Gravity pulls everything downward, so we must look up for strength to moderate against its inevitable effect. The idea is not to live forever on the planet, but to live here with optimal freedom to move and make a difference.

Since my body is a temple, I do well to remember that an aging building requires more maintenance than a younger edifice. The older architecture has its own beauty, but requires greater care and attention.

Certainly we don’t have to wait until 60 to learn this lesson. Some of us had parents who modeled this type of love when we were toddlers and teens. They were gentle, but tough. They were attentive to our needs without being overly gratifying. They were generous without being indulgent.

We all need to be loved in a way that is tender, but tough. God is the perfect example of the blend we humans struggle to achieve. Most of us tend toward one side or the other in relating to ourselves and those we love. Either we are too soft and let ourselves off the hook, or we are too hard, too rigorous in our demands for discipline and perfection.

God, make us like you. Fill us with your warm loving kindness that remembers we are dust and relates to us with tender care. Give us too the strength of determination that will not yield in the face of our resistance to doing good.

Every day, may we exercise compassion when faced with our limitations, but courage to take new ground. Help us advance on this journey of life, not stopping to dwell in complacency or resignation. Make us gentle, but tough!

Sunday morning I got an urgent call. A young woman was retrieved from the stage where she felt commanded by God to give a special message to Pastor Kerry and the thousands in attendance. This woman, I’ll call her Jane, was adamant about her mission and no amount of talking brought even a bobble to her stance.

While Jane acknowledged many mood disorder symptoms, she was in denial about her mental illness and aberrant beliefs. Her social isolation and disregard for input rendered her impervious to reason.

What a tragedy when we do not invite feedback! We drift further and further in thought and attitude if we fail to set aside our own view long enough to see what our neighbor has to show us.

On Sunday, I desperately wanted to get through to Jane, to help her reengage in a world where she could again have meaningful connections, giving and receiving value. But she would not have it.

Although Jane’s situation is extreme, we all share that tendency to justify our own position without being willing to seriously consider that we may be misguided or misinformed.

Admitting we are wrong sticks in the throat, but it gets easier with practice. When we do not over identify with our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors, we can experience the change in mind and heart we call repentance. It brings humility, growth and an increasingly easy recognition of frailty and imperfection which ironically adds strength.

By connecting with Jane, I saw myself. And while she may not have benefitted from our time together, I did. I wish never to fail to be open to the gift connection brings. It invites us to a path of adventure and growth, to a journey that is only possible with assistance from fellow travelers.

So open your heart. Be like Jane and act on your convictions. But be willing to seek guidance and to reconsider. Reach out and open up to other humble and open souls who, like you, admit their frailty and longing for more.

I awakened late on Sunday morning, but with a strong push I made it to the chapel earlier than my usual last minute arrival.

I greeted our volunteers and walked inside, where I spotted one of my medical school professors who attends regularly. We started chatting and in the conversation I happened to ask his age. In response, he confessed that it was his birthday and he was turning 73! I congratulated him and we stopped talking as the choir began to sing.

Before I left to go to the main service, though, I wrote a birthday note and invited him to come over to the café for a meal. After the chapel service ended, we had a lovely breakfast. He lives alone and was not going to celebrate with his son until the following weekend. Thus, it made me extra happy that God got me there early and used me to offer a birthday blessing for His child!

It reminds me of how important it is to have margin in my life so I can be available to serve. I am too often like the religious guys in Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan – too busy with my own agenda to take time for a neighbor.

As it turns out, filling our lives with activity robs God of the moments He needs to bring us into those divine encounters that bless us and make us a blessing. Studies show that those who are hurried or preoccupied often don’t even notice the needs around them, or when they do, excuse themselves from helping.

Consider leaving a little earlier today and leave God a little time to get you where he wants you to be. It is in the margins that we can help those who need us.

Here is a moving video of some German students, reminding us of life’s brevity and the power we have to make a difference.