BREATH OF GOD

Early this morning I went out to the rumpus room to listen to the scripture on tape. As I lay down on the comfy couch, I thought again how I need God to draw near. In the darkness, a saw a dark outline just in front of my face. While I realized quickly that it was the back of the office chair I use for my laptop, it felt to me as if God had turned his face toward mine. “Breathe on me!” I thought. I need your breath.

Then I wondered, “What would his breath smell like? Would it be like the forest? Would it be like the smell of newly mown field? Maybe it would be full of fragrant spice or sweet like a garden in bloom.”

I imagined his breath visible, giving life to all things. I marveled aloud, “When you breathe, I bet everything comes to life.” It was then I sensed His wry smile, followed by a reply: “That, or everything dies!”

Life and death are in His breath. How will you experience Him? Will you warm or wither? Will God’s breath bless or burn?

While one puff could blast to bits every molecule that makes me, today he exercises restraint.

Thank God that he loves us!

Breathe on us in tenderness, Lord. Even so, burn away all that resists you. We love you, Lord, because you loved first.

BLESSING Before BREAKING

Our friends, David and Cathy Peake, have two very strong-willed children. This week they shared with me how difficult it is not to laugh when the kids are being oppositional and defiant. As I think about it, perhaps that is sometimes the best response. It is rather funny to see a toddler puff up and defy one that could so easily squash him. Even God laughs at the nations in their self-importance and scheming. We do well not taking ourselves or others too seriously.

Parents need not be threatened by a youngster’s display of strength. It is crucial that self-will be affirmed and blessed. The ability to assert strong desire and give full vent to emotion in relationships is a powerful and needed skill. What a blessing it is for parents to be strong and sturdy enough to stay calm and present for the fit or tantrum without yielding to the child’s demands! God, our loving parent, gives us the right to have feelings and desires. He welcomes them without judgment. At the same time, they will not manipulate him. As we fall on Him in our passion, we are broken. But if He fell on us we would be crushed.

I grieve that I did not find my voice as a child. How many small children are crushed when they voice displeasure or assert their will and want? God help us refrain from rushing in to tell others they are wrong to feel as they do or bad to wish for what they desire. Judgment kills and condemnation crushes the soul. But God’s acceptance and loving restraint brings brokenness. Grief that is honored and engaged leads eventually to acceptance. If, like Job, we empty our bowl of grief with God, we find He is still for us, He is still with us. Even when He does not answer our demands, He blesses our souls.

At this time of Passover, remember Jesus – taking the bread, then blessing, breaking and giving it. The bread is His body, as we are His body. He has taken us, blessed us, broken and given us.

Blessing before breaking…

Arrows, wounds, forgiveness and healing

I just read a blog on Forgiveness by Kelly Johnson, a fellow band member from high school. Now a missionary in Kenya, Kelly grew up in a home ravaged by alcoholism and abuse. Kelly went down a destructive path in response to the trauma, but God met him at his lowest point. Kelly chose life, and when he embraced forgiveness, he found freedom.

Although Kelly’s father left the planet without voicing repentance, Kelly is free of regret. He has seen God’s redemptive power – using pain to fuel passion.

As we review our life’s story and surrender it to God, he transforms our view. As we grow, we learn the wisdom Kelly found and can say along with Joseph speaking to his abusive brothers, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”

Ironically, wounds we receive from the ones we love most keep us from finding identity and worth in human relationships. They cause us to look beyond what the earth has to offer. The inadequacy of Kelly’s biological dad drove him to find his real Daddy.

To those who hurt us most, we can truly say:

“Your arrow wounded me, but God used the wound to heal me.”

SURRENDER, NUMBER TWO

Lifting hands in surrender brings extra blood to the core. The heart rate abates and breathing slows and deepens. As noted in the previous post, the parasympathetic response also aids digestion. When we begin the day with surrender we find it easier to cast our cares on God and release the burdens we carry.

In a practical way, we experience tangible release if we raise our arms when we sit to do business in the “necessary room.” When nature calls, plant your feet wide and firm, spread your cheeks and lift your hands high in praise and surrender. This, along with a good cup of coffee, stimulates the intestines and facilitates elimination. Try it!

I love my moments in the bathroom. When doing my business, I know I am just where God wants me. It reminds me that what I release is sometimes as important as what I take in.

Begin each day with surrender. First, fall to your knees, face to the floor. Then, choose gratitude and worship. As you practice surrender and release, it becomes easier and more rewarding.

God’s way always promotes life and peace. Want to live life to the full? Follow after God. He will bring “health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:8)

SURRENDER!

To enjoy life fully, we surrender control to God. Of course, this is merely admits the truth: God has final authority. Ironically, to really enjoy giving it over to Him, we must also be active – exerting our own efforts even when progress is slow and the result uncertain.

A sign of surrender is upraised and open palms. When police command a criminal to put his hands over his head, they know he is less able to take aggressive action. But the maneuver serves another important function.

Raising one’s arms stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. This has a calming effect, counteracting the sympathetic “fight-flight” response. While the sympathetic response moves blood to the extremities and prepares us for action, parasympathetic activation moves blood to the torso, facilitating digestion and the sexual response.

While we use our hands to work with all our might, approaching God with hands raised and empty shows our willingness to lay everything down. The posture of surrender demonstrates we know without Him we can do nothing. Thus, we give all effort and striving to Him, knowing He takes them willingly.

Surrender calms the soul and ushers us into gratitude, peaceful well-being, and joyful rest. No wonder the apostle Paul wanted everyone to pray with hands raised, without anger or disputing. (I Timothy 2:8)

If you are not already in the habit, try raising your hands high in worship and prayer. It will dampen frustration and anxieties, and help you release tension and your own efforts at control to God. Surrender is a key activity for childlike trust. Think you might look goofy if you lift your hands? Afraid someone will judge you? Surrender that, too!

Like a little child raising its arms to mom or dad, wanting to be lifted up, show God you trust Him to carry you and the burdens you bear. Surrender all to Him with a simple gesture. Let peace reign.

“All to Jesus, I surrender. All to Him I freely give.

I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.”

Not My Will…

I met with a woman today who suffered severe abuse as a child. She coped by telling herself it was better for her to suffer and protect her younger siblings. Even as an adult, she has consistently put other’s needs before her own. Recently, she was offered a promotion that was attractive, but it came with strings attached.

She prayed about the decision, but didn’t feel she got any answer from God. However, after saying yes to the job, she didn’t sleep well for three nights. Upon further reflection, she realized she was uncomfortable with the way they handled the offer and the commitment they asked of her. She subsequently notified them she did not want the position, and she was able to sleep again.

As we spoke, she wondered aloud why God never seems to tell her what to do. I suggested that perhaps her lack of peace was God’s way of getting her attention. But then it occurred to me then that in her case, God was in a tough spot. Even if He wanted to direct her, he could not really tell her what He wants for her without joining the ranks of others who are happy to run her life. For if she knew what God desired, she would just revert to her knee-jerk tendency to sacrifice all for the one she loves, considering her own wishes irrelevant.

No doubt, all of us must learn to say, “Not my will, but thine be done.” But it is not enough to say it as a default position. We cannot truly surrender what we have not claimed as our own. God will not take over a will that has not been affirmed. God cannot tell a person what He wants until that person has been able to claim and assert his own will. Jesus said those words in the garden, but only after appealing to God to give him some other option. He was crystal clear about his own will.

You cannot give what you do not own, nor surrender control when you have never exercised it.

How Does He Put Up With Me?

A little before 4AM yesterday, I went to the rumpus room to listen to the scripture on tape and to sleep. As I lay down I was talking aloud to God. As I sometimes do, I was voicing my displeasure with my many failings. For instance, I had still had not sent the card I have for my dear friend Dan regarding the loss of his mother. I said to God, “I don’t know why you put up with me.”

I reached to turn on the cassette player and thought, “Maybe He’ll tell me.” The first words I heard were from the last supper, spoken of John as he lay against Jesus, “… his disciple whom Jesus loved.”  Wow! Can it be that he loves me? John knew it and it emboldened him to move in close to the greatest love the world has ever known. That is exactly where I want to be and where I want to stay – leaning on Jesus. I love you, Lord. Thank you for putting up with me. Thanks for loving me.

IDOL PERKS

When you serve false gods, there are rewards. Consider worshippers of the Canaanite gods, who enjoyed sexual acts as worship. Plus, Canaan enjoyed fruitfulness. Remember the prodigious produce brought back by the twelve spies? Still, there is a cost to serving false gods. They were the same gods that demanded the sacrifice of innocent children.

Sin falls hardest on those who look to us for care and protection. Sadly, the Canaanites put their own pleasure and prosperity over the wellbeing of their children. Even more tragic, though, is idol worship in our country, where we worship personal pleasure and prosperity at any cost. According to The State of Our Unions 2005, a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents — the lowest figure in the Western world. Our children are being sacrificed at the altar of personal satisfaction.

Love and Pain

Last evening Dr. Charles Lowery was speaking for Woodlands Church. My friend, Olive Moore was greeting folks as they entered the sanctuary. We chatted for a moment after the service began and she shared a powerful experience she had at Tres Dias at the end of February. It was during a prayer time in the chapel, when participants and leaders were praying for one another one on one. There was intense prayer and many tears. Olive wondered, “How can there be so much pain and so much love in one place and all at the same time?” It seemed inconceivable, and so ironic. But then she looked up and the cross caught her eye. Then it hit her full force, that’s what happened at the cross, when the depth of God’s love met the breadth of human suffering. It was the intersection of  humanity’s worst with the best God could give. When she shared the moment, it hit me as well: love flows freely into the depths of grief.

As I contemplated this truth, the words of an old song came to mind. “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross”-

When I survey the wondrous cross

On which the Prince of Glory died;

My richest gain I count but loss,

And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,

Save in the death of Christ, my God;

All the vain things that charm me most,

I sacrifice them to his blood.

See, from his head, his hands, his feet,

Sorrow and love flow mingled down.

Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,

Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,

That were an offering far too small;

Love so amazing, so divine,

Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Lord, let us enter the pain of others, confident we will find your love. As grace abounds to meet the full measure of sin, let love abound to meet the pain.

Praise from where?

“I do not accept praise from men, but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts… How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?”       John 5:41, 42, 44

In the wee hours of the morning when I listen to my audio Bible these words of Jesus brought speedy conviction. While I am beginning to share freely what God has given me, I still harbor concern for how other’s will judge my message. I do care that my writing and art reflect truth and beauty, that they flow from grace and peace; yet I wish to write for you, Lord, unmoved by praise or honor from men.

How will it happen? I am so entrenched in living for others. It is impossible for me to change that by my feeble effort; it is even hard to imagine being done with people pleasing. It is a gross defect of character, but I am willing that you remove it.

Jesus is right about me. The love of God is not yet full in me. Discontent, I still turn to nurse at other breasts. Pour in your love, Lord. Make it like a spring, fully satisfying forever. Turn to me as I turn to you.